using the arrow buttons.
by clicking on the page.
the page around when zoomed in by dragging it.
the zoom using the slider when zoomed-in.
by clicking on the zoomed-in page.
by entering text in the search field, and select "This Issue" or "All Issues"
by clicking on thumbnails to select pages, and then press the print button.
displays sections with thumbnails and descriptions.
displays a slider of thumbnails. Click on a page to jump.
allows you to browse the full archive.
about your subscription?
Lions Roar : September 2008
SHAMBHALA SUN SEPTEMBER 2008 74 THREE YEARS AGO I was standing in a real estate of- fice filling out a rental application when, out of the cor- ner of my eye, I saw a big man enter and approach the realtor. The stranger muttered something, then shoved the young man. I thought he was just kidding—a friend roughhousing?—until he pinned the realtor against a wall and started punching holes in the Sheetrock, four of them, circling the frightened man’s head. Breathless, I ran out to the store next door and urged the woman behind the counter to call the police. “The guy next door is about to be killed!” I tiptoed back to check on the realtor. Thankfully, his assailant had disappeared, leaving him alive and unhurt, but the man was still trembling. “Who was that?” I asked. “Some crazy person off the street?” “No,” the realtor replied. “His ex-wife used to work here. He was drunk, and he was looking for her.” I walked out of the office into a New York heat wave, a day so hot that the asphalt was threatening to melt. I was in the middle of the worst period of my life: a month before, my own wife had suddenly—without warning or apology—walked out of our marriage. I thought about that stranger’s anger, and I thought about my own. I considered myself a generally cheerful person, prone to corny jokes and bad impressions of TV characters, but that jovial self-image had been severely tested dur- ing the last few months of my marriage. Our landlord had decided to sell the house my wife and I were rent- ing an apartment in. Though she and I had gotten along well for four years, our search for a new home led to all sorts of disagreements, and then to outright verbal fights (which pointed to other hidden problems in our relationship). After our marriage fell apart, I trudged through the city streets, praying that I could find an afford- able place on my own. I spent endless hours playing a mental loop in which I railed against my ex-wife, her friends, and even her therapist. At around that time, fortunately, I stumbled across a poster for a Buddhist talk. I knew little about Buddhism; I saw it as a foreign, esoteric religion full of rituals and chanting, or a New Age fad for rock stars and Hollywood actors. But the title of the talk grabbed my attention: How to Deal with Anger (not—as my preconceptions might have led me to expect—How to Bliss Out and Pretend You’re Not Really Angry). Under ordinary circumstances I would have passed on by, but I was suffering and desperate. What did I have to lose? That very first talk turned my whole world upside down—or right-side up. I was greatly surprised to hear that if I was angry at my wife, my wife was not the problem. My problem was my anger. I USED TO THINK of the spiritual path as a detached, solo journey, like Moses trekking up the mountain, or the Buddha wandering off to sit under his bodhi tree. I imagined how challenging it would be to renounce life’s pleasures and meditate in a cave. Now I realize that life of- fers a much more common but just as powerful spiritual trial: just try getting along with one other person for the rest of your life. Tie the knot. In good times, the rewards are great: the intimacy, the support, the joy of being loved and of loving someone else. Sometimes, though, the posi- tive energy of a marriage seems to derail, to twist, to spiral Of Course I’m Angry! As his marriage falls apart, GABRIEL COHEN obsesses over all the things his wife has done to make him angry. ILLUSTRATIONS BY MICHAEL WOLOSCHINOW MARLENAAGENCY SEPT 74-79.indd 74 SEPT 74-79.indd 74 7/3/08 1:33:59 PM 7/3/08 1:33:59 PM