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Lions Roar : May 2009
SHAMBHALA SUN MAy 2009 77 In the Zen tradition we usually face a wall and, therefore, we can’t see each oth- er. When I sat recently with people from the Theravadan tradition, we sat in a cir- cle, facing each other with our eyes closed. I snuck a peek at the others, all of them seeming to sit so peacefully, and I thought, “What are they all doing and how do they know how to do it?” I could feel longing vibrating in my blood; I could feel hot prickles all over my skin. I said to myself, “Hello, longing. I know you.” And in that moment I suddenly felt happy; I liked the prickles. And for the hundred thousandth time, I returned to my breathing, letting the air in the room come into my lungs like the tide—the same air that was flow- ing in and out of all the other bodies in the room, joining us together. longing is its own satisfaction. It’s already complete. All My lIFE I have felt this longing. I guess it’s how I travel in the world; it’s what takes me where I’m going. The long- ing for connection calls forth a life of con- nection. The longing that took me to the secret place in the bayberry bushes is the same longing that, as an adult, has made me spend months in a monastery; join a voter registration drive; and set the table for family and friends. My small self con- tinues to reach for something beyond my- self. The little girl practicing handstands in that secret place is still with me, keep- ing me company. If she can bear the long- ing, I can bear it. I remember that this is who I am: the one who wonders. ♦ The longing that took me to the secret place in the bayberry bushes is the same longing that has made me spend months in a monastery, join a voter registration drive, and set the table for family and friends. SHAMBHALASUN.COM “To meditate is to be innocent of time.” ~ J. Krishnamurti, Meditations For info on Krishnamurti Foundation and free catalogue,email