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Lions Roar : July 2015
ADVICE FOR DIFFICULT TIMES She Wants Children, I Don’t Whatever choice you make, there will be some suffering. Meet it lovingly and wisely, advises TRUDY GOODMAN. Question: When my wife and I got married, neither of us wanted children. Now, four years later, she’s changed her mind, but I haven’t. We’re both Buddhist, and usually the practice helps us navi- gate disagreements. With this situation, though, we can’t find a compromise that makes sense, and the tension between us is growing. I want to save my marriage. What should we do? Answer: The Buddha emphasized com- patibility of attitudes and behavior in establishing a marriage, which you and your wife shared when you wed. It’s pain- ful—but not unusual—for one partner to change their mind about an important issue as they mature. You don’t mention circumstances that would prevent your caring responsibly for a child, such as having no way to make a living or being in an unhealthy relation- ship. It sounds like you love your marriage and whatever decision you make is all about love—for yourself and for your wife. In times of change and growth, we often look outside ourselves for answers. ©WARRENGOLDSWAIN/STOCKSYUNITED Send your question to