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Lions Roar : September 2010
SHAMBHALA SUN SEPTEMBER 2010 65 recognize what we’ve had all along. We get so caught up in the drama of our lives that we don’t see the radiant purity of our own minds. this nature is with us even when we feel scared, lonely, and angry.” i looked up at my father’s kind face as he spoke these words and a feeling of tremendous love and respect welled up from deep within me. i still didn’t fully grasp what he was trying to teach, but i started to open to the possibility that there was more to life than all the thoughts and feelings that crowded my young mind. What he had just introduced me to was the ground of the great perfec- tion, the inner reality that we discover on the spiritual path. the path oF the gReat peRFection With this newfound confidence, i continued to meditate on my own. though i still didn’t have a direct experience of what my father was trying to teach me, i soon found that by focusing my mind on something, i could experience a glimpse of tranquility. despite this development, i still thought of meditation as some- thing that would help me get rid of the parts of myself that i didn’t like. i sincerely hoped that meditation would lead me to happy, peaceful states of mind where panic and fear could not touch me. as i would soon find out, however, what my father was leading me to was much more radical than that. For the next few months i continued to visit my father every day, and he taught me more about the great perfection. often- times we wouldn’t talk at all as we sat together. my father would simply sit in front of the large window and gaze off into the sky as i sat quietly by his side and tried to meditate. i desperately wanted his approval, so i always did my best imitation of what i thought a good meditator should do. i sat bolt upright and tried to make it look like i was absorbed in some deep experience, while in actuality i was just repeating a mantra in my mind and trying not to get lost in thought. occasionally, i would open my eyes and peek up at my father, hoping that he had noticed my good meditation posture and ability to sit still for so long. one day, as we sat together in silence, i glanced up at him in the middle of my meditation and was surprised to find him gaz- ing down at me. “are you meditating, son?” he asked. “yes, sir,” i said proudly, filled with joy that he had finally noticed. my answer seemed to amuse him greatly. he paused for a few moments and then said gently, “don’t meditate.” Helios Series #7 ➢ page 90