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Lions Roar : July 2007
SHAMBHALA SUN JULY 2007 34 chair and table, the threads of my blanket, the reds and blues of my rug —and my waiting body. At such ecstatic times I felt as if I were being lifted and carried right through the windows into the air on a heavy linen sheet borne by the sweet-faced angels that used to illustrate the turn-of- the-century hymn sheets. My world was full, lush, and compelling. Since then I have wondered what grounded my willingness to sink into pain and fear and ecstasy as they manifested in turn. What enabled me to patiently observe the “scenery” of my illness as it unrolled? In my animal realm, more attuned to the pulses of the earth than I ever was before, I began to be palpably aware of the well- being ceremonies that people were doing for me all over the country. Whole sanghas were chanting every day for me with all the psychic vitality at their command. I immediately felt the benefits when I woke up from the surgery to remove the tumor: As the anesthetic let me go and I moved toward consciousness, I became aware of a path of stepping-stones spread out before me in the dark. I put a cautious foot on one, and it held me utterly. I stepped on the next with my other foot. It held me absolutely. The stones were immovable, supportive, reliable. I stepped confidently until the light flooded in and I saw the faces of my husband, Tony, and my good friend Keith smiling down at me in my bed. WHEN I HAD MY HIP REPLACED two decades ago, life before and after the sur- gery was completely different. Life before was one flowing whole, but until I healed, life after surgery felt mismatched. This time, however, there has been no rent in the fabric of my life. The days before the tumor surgery and the days after continue to be all of a piece: I see students, I write lectures, I get cut open, I eat Jell-O, I re- ceive visitors, I feel as sick as a barfing dog, I pace the corridors, I ride home with the passenger seat all the way down, and so on, to the experience of golden apricot colors, helplessness, dread, and being borne on a sheet carried by angels. Next to this kind of unbidden adven- ture, a life of preference becomes not only Make The First MoveTM Choose a t-shirt that makes a difference. SEE OUR SELECTION AT WWW.CAFEPRESS.COM/ LIFEISATSHIRT Gentle reminders for more joy, peace and happiness in the world, one t-shirt at a time. $2.00 from each shirt purchased is sent back into the universe to groups working to make the world a better place. Life Is A T-ShirtTM Meditate with Deepak Chopra Change your life. at Seduction of Spirit in Whistler FOR THE FIRST TIME IN CANADA Reconnect with your inner silence. Re-awaken your soul. Still your mind. Find peace. Feel reborn. July 30 - August 4, 2007 Whistler, British Columbia Canada CHOPRA.COM MENTION SHAMBHALA SUN AND SAVE! 888.736.6895 firstname.lastname@example.org