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Lions Roar : July 2008
SHAMBHALA SUN JULY 2008 82 So we began to plan our wedding. I placed the sweet box with the rock and the feather by my bed so I could look at it anytime I wanted. Whenever we would have a fight or my doubts would return, I could lift the top and peek inside. Oh yes, I would remind myself, everything is OK. We love each other so much. Some of the world’s greatest meditators have cried a lot. – SAKYONG MIPHAM Also during this month, I was studying in preparation for the bodhisattva vow cer- emony. I read about how great saints and scholars defined compassion and how they kept it going even under the most difficult circumstances. I learned that compassion is the sole basis for peace, and that personal happiness can only come from making the needs of others primary. I once read that the Dalai Lama spends three hours every morning rousing compassion. How did he then go out into the world without sob- bing all the time? I had no idea. But just as with marrying Duncan, after thinking it over I realized that I had to do it. There was simply no choice. Do you say no when the one you love offers to love you back for the rest of his life? Do you say no when your meditation teacher asks if you want to try to become enlightened for the benefit of others? “Actually, I think I’d rather remain in a self-absorbed fantasy” didn’t seem like a good answer to either of them. So I said yes. OK, yes, yes, yes. I’ll try. Within a few months, I took the bodhi- sattva vow with about ten other students. We had been told to bring something to place on the altar as an offering during the ceremony. It didn’t have to be the most meaningful thing in our life, but it should be something that mattered. I thought about offering a ring that I rarely wore, or books that had been very meaningful to me, or even my favorite dress. (Look, I re- ally loved that dress.) None of them seemed right. There was only one thing that would cost me to be without: the box with the rock and the feather. I tried to talk myself out it. “He said it didn’t have to be our most valued possession.” “That would hurt Dun- can.” “Surely I could hold on to this...” JULY 78-99.indd 82 JULY 78-99.indd 82 4/25/08 1:16:34 PM 4/25/08 1:16:34 PM