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Lions Roar : November 2008
SHAMBHALA SUN NOVEMBER 2008 43 basic balance of the selfless, egoless teaching, and become selfish, ego-centered, or even ego-maniacal. That’s where dukkha (suffering) begins and joy ends, where the joy of relationship ends and the dukkha of relationship begins. When a relationship is troubling, that will stimulate our path. We can’t expect it always to be perfect. In the mir- ror of relationship, we discover all these things. We discover the real nature of relationship and we discover how we go off balance, how we lose the egoless, selfless view, how we lose the sense of love and caring. Practicing mindfulness and awareness can help us see in the mirror more clearly. Mindfulness can tame the mental wildness that causes us to go so off balance. Mindfulness puts the wild mind in a corral. Once the wild horse of our mind is a little settled, we can train it by tying it to the post of awareness. Then we can train the horse to do all sorts of things, includ- ing to exert itself on the path of relationship and take joy and delight in loving. THE DZOGCHEN PONLOP RINPOCHE is a contemporary master in the Kagyu and Nyingma schools of Tibetan Buddhism. He is the president of Nalandabodhi and the author of Mind Beyond Death. We Are All Wayfarers BY SYLVIA BOORSTEIN IT’S VERY EASY to get annoyed, particularly with our loved ones. I’ve been married to someone for fifty-three years and in a close re- lationship with him for fifty-six. Sometimes that person makes a stupid remark that hurts my feel- ings, doesn’t know he did it, and barrels right on. Well, I might take umbrage. I feel bad. I radiate back that I’m feeling bad. Still the other person doesn’t notice that I feel bad, doesn’t even notice that anything happened, just keeps on saying what he’s saying or doing what he’s doing. So, I think to myself, I’m just not going to say anything back. As a matter of fact, I’ll just go out to my study now. And I go in there and get a little more NOV 40-47.indd 43 NOV 40-47.indd 43 9/1/08 12:19:34 PM 9/1/08 12:19:34 PM