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Lions Roar : November 2009
SHAMBHALA SUN NOVEMBER 2009 53 Many people try to find a spiritual path where they do not have to face themselves, but where they can still liberate themselves. In truth, that is impossible. We have to see our gut, our real shit, our most undesirable parts. in terms of your state of mind. however, such orthodoxy and expression of discipline may have an element of truth in them. We must decide to look at ourselves and experience ourselves honestly. some of us find ourselves in the most wretched and pro- foundly degrading situations. some of us may have brilliant and good situations happening. Whatever the case may be, whether our exploration brings hope or fear, we look at ourselves. We need to find ourselves, face ourselves, and beyond that, give up our privacy, our inhibition. there may be a semantic problem here with my use of the word privacy in the english language. the point is that when you give up privacy, that is the only time you can be with yourself. our normal version of privacy is not really privacy. We say, “I need my privacy.” If you are bottling yourself up with your so called privacy, you find yourself getting in your own way. there is no privacy in that situation. the privacy does not exist. In- stead, you feel completely bombarded with internal emotions and thoughts, which take away from your chance to be with yourself and relax with yourself completely. once you begin to give up privacy, you open your heart and your whole existence to the rest of the world, and then you find greater privacy. you find that an actual discovery of yourself is taking place. the only way to relax with yourself is to open your heart. then you have a chance to see who you are. this experience is like opening a parachute. When you jump out of an airplane and open the chute, you are there in the sky by yourself. sometimes it is very frightening, but on the other hand, when you take this step, the whole situation, the whole journey, makes sense. you have to actually do it, and then you will understand. giving up privacy is not so much a process of education and logic, but it happens on the spot, by doing so. one has to give up inhibition, but that does not become ex- hibitionism. you remain true to yourself if you give up inhibi- tion. you just give up your privacy, your sense of shyness, and the longing to have a personal “trip.” When you give that up, it doesn’t mean you have to become an exhibitionist; but you could be a real person. When you give up smoking cigarettes, you don’t have to proclaim what you have done. maybe nobody will notice. you just do not smoke anymore. It might be sad for you that nobody can appreciate your virtue, but on the other hand, so what? When you give up your privacy, you still stand and walk on two feet like other human beings. you look at the universe Carolyn rose gimian talks about editing and preserving the teachings of Chögyam Trungpa rinpoche, plus more teachings by Chögyam Trungpa, at www.shambhalasun.com.