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Lions Roar : Nov 2007
SHAMBHALA SUN NOVEMBER 2007 30 signals, things I kind of pick up on in my life, and if I trust them then later things are kind of revealed to me and I realize, Oh, this is what I’m writing about, this old pain. Like right now I’m writing a script that’s more or less about the fear of nothingness, of emptiness—and all the things that are done fleeing in terror of that. On another level it’s a story of heartbreak. I’m always keeping in sight these hard-to-get-at things that are taking place while I’m writing. I’m afraid of noth- ingness right now. Do you spend a lot of energy protecting yourself? I’m thinking in particular of your childlike qualities. I guess I do, in the sense that I could have done any number of things after Me and You and Everyone We Know, and I decided not to do anything—just wait for the new thing to arise out of me, as long as that would take. Which is scary; it’s a lot safer to just take something someone is offering. But I thought, well, it’s worked this long. I need to stick to this—not take money for things I haven’t made, because that would sort of make them not mine before they were even born. You are staying away from the big studios because you don’t want to do it that way? I could have had all these meetings, all these things that you do. I just realized that I’m really very sensitive and impressionable, and that would be distracting for me. If you could pull the rug out from under one problem in society, what would it be? Maybe it’s because I live in L.A., but I’m very aware of how much people want attention. In different ways, not just the obvious ones. Essentially they want to be reparented, want a second shot at someone telling them they are the best thing ever. And so many other problems come out of that: intense consumerism, body stuff for women. Seeing that we can’t go back, what can we do about that? It sounds clichéd, but just to realize it’s not “out there.” You’re not going to go buy it or get it outside of yourself. Unfortunately, it’s harder. On your website, you list Ten Wonderful Things and one is: “Another thing I find really works is giving up. You’re supposed to never do that, but you do it many times a day and it’s spiritual.” What do you mean by that? I’m probably speaking to that kind of workaholic part of my- self. It’s that part of myself that thinks I’m not lovable unless I’m working. So to give up is pretty powerful. There is room for stuff to come in when you give up, even for a moment. ♦ NOV 18-39.indd 30 NOV 18-39.indd 30 8/29/07 2:05:48 PM 8/29/07 2:05:48 PM