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Lions Roar : Nov 2007
SHAMBHALA SUN NOVEMBER 2007 97 scenario that was eerily, awesomely simi- lar. At that point, I knew I was experienc- ing what I put my first husband through. The first thing I did was to get together with him and say, “I’ve said I’m sorry be- fore, but now I really am sorry, because I am now feeling what you felt.” Many people have stories like this. They put someone through something and then they experience it themselves, and somehow they know that they are paying back a debt. It has nothing whatsoever to do with punishment. It’s more like a law of physics. There’s no one punishing you. There is no master planner making sure you get it. There is no vengeance. It is just a principle that you sooner or later start to feel in your bones. ALWAYS AT A CROSSROADS This approach to settling the score is that whenever something bad comes your way, it is always an opportunity for further heal- ing. When things happen to you that you don’t like, you can either open the wound further or you can heal the wound. Instead of getting strongly hooked into thoughts like “I don’t like,” “I don’t want,” “It isn’t fair,” “How could they do this to me?,” “I don’t deserve this,” or “They should know better,” it’s possible that you could train yourself so that the natural intelligence becomes stronger than your reactivity. For most of us most of the time, our emotional reactivity obscures our natural intelligence. But if we become motivated to start contemplating the approach of seeing pain and discomfort as opportuni- ties for healing—for becoming “one-with” and bringing people closer rather than splitting—our intelligence actually will We are always at a crossroads, moment by moment. We can choose to open the wound further, creating more suffering for ourselves and others, or we can choose to heal the wound. NOV 78-103.indd 97 NOV 78-103.indd 97 8/29/07 3:44:57 PM 8/29/07 3:44:57 PM