using the arrow buttons.
by clicking on the page.
the page around when zoomed in by dragging it.
the zoom using the slider when zoomed-in.
by clicking on the zoomed-in page.
by entering text in the search field, and select "This Issue" or "All Issues"
by clicking on thumbnails to select pages, and then press the print button.
displays sections with thumbnails and descriptions.
displays a slider of thumbnails. Click on a page to jump.
allows you to browse the full archive.
about your subscription?
Lions Roar : May 2018
“But I didn’t have the courage to answer that inner voice ask- ing why I was doing this,” he remembers. “Even alcohol couldn’t distance me from the fact that I was beginning to be disgusted by my own behavior.” While none of those incidents changed Michaelis on the spot, he says they all planted seeds that high- lighted how wrong his thinking was. MICHAELIS HAD A CHILD because he wanted to bring more white people into the world. But in the end, it was because of his daughter that Michaelis left hate groups, and because of her that he found Buddhism. He was in his early twenties when his daughter was born. But when he saw a second friend murdered in a street fight, and lost count of how many friends in the white power movement had been incarcerated, he began to wonder if death or prison would take him away from her. The final realization came when he saw his daughter playing with children of different races at daycare. “It struck me that they were all children—not Black children or white children, but the sons and daughters of mothers and fathers,” he writes in his memoir, My Life After Hate. “I thought of all the people I had hurt, whether with my own hands or by lighting some psychopath’s fuse... How did their loved ones feel when they saw this person who was so special to them battered and broken? How horrible would it be to have my daughter exposed to such violence in the slightest aspect? Love for my child thawed a dormant empathy for people that I was never aware of.” Slowly, Michaelis began to extricate himself from his identity as a white supremacist, putting together a new life by quitting drinking, getting a job as a computer service tech and IT con- sultant, repairing his relationship with his now-divorced par- ents, and attending university. And when his daughter was ten, she started reading books by the Dalai Lama and seeking solace in Buddhism. “I didn’t really know what Buddhism was about, but just the fact that she was drawn to it interested me,” he says. He became so intrigued by his daughter’s interest in Buddhism that in 2009, fif- teen years after leaving hate groups, Michaelis found himself on a cushion in a meditation class at a local Shambhala Buddhist center. “I still had guilt for who I was, the mistakes I made, and I was resigned to never forgiving myself for what I had done,” Michaelis’ schoolyard bullying escalated to feed his need for adrenaline. Alcoholism, vandalism, violence, and punk music led to a leadership position in the neo-Nazi movement. LION’S ROAR | MAY 2018 39