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Lions Roar : January 2003
SHAMBHALA SUN JANUARY 2003 73 again with Tawnee (assuming she doesn’t come back as a millipede, as she deserves to, for dumping you, even though it’s true that you didn’t take your socks off and then ran out on her that night)? Meditation: You sit quietly in a certain position and breathe in a certain way and try to empty your mind, all as part of the effort to renounce desire and seek the enlightenment that will bolster your standing in the karma league. It also really helps in the effort to get your thoughts off Tawnee. Akimcanyayata: “Atayaynacmika” spelled backward. Nirvana: That’s right—that’s the definition of nirvana (which is what you are striving to achieve as a Buddhist), as I understand it: a big fat nothing. You get so enlightened, your desire is in such giga-renunciation, that you don’t have to be reincarnated anymore, at least if you don’t want to be. You are obliterated, released from the cycle of pain and suffering. No more 932 combined SAT scores, no more running out of cold beer, no more hold music, no more caramelized reductions and eggplant coulis, no more big electronic highway signs that tell you how fast you’re going, no more irritable bowel syndrome, no more pining for Tawnee, no more Chuck Norris reruns, no more copy-center jobs, no more silage combustion, no more air turbulence, no more periodon- tics, no more “funny” lists. No more post-coital escape panics. No more coition, either. Hmmm. No more ruby-throated hummingbirds, no more whoever Alison Krauss comes back as, no more soft-serve ice cream, no more first kisses, no more boogie-boarding, no more finding a cold beer in the fridge, no more throwing down with anyone whatsoever ever, no more homecomings. No more whatever the future holds in store: teleportation hol- idays, mansions created from utility fog and nanotechnology swarms, invisi- bility. No second chance with Tawnee. If you were a Buddhist, I guess it would be up to you, and not. ♦ DANIEL MENAKER isanexecutive editor at HarperCollins and the author of two collections of stories and a novel, The Treatment. ANDRÉ SLOB is anillustrator, anima- tor, website designer and yoga buff living in Amsterdam.