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Lions Roar : September 2018
time you imagine that if only you could visualize him or her clearly, that person would materialize to rescue you. When you subscribe to the belief that healing childhood wounds will remove unseen blockages that prevent your life partner from approaching, you are serving this lord. He runs on the fumes of magical thinking. The more important something is to you, the more likely you are to apply magical thinking to it, and when it comes to love, there is no shortage of books and classes that purport to teach you vari- ous tricks of mind that will attract what you desire. Please don’t waste your time and money. Instead, examine your mind carefully. Analyze the lenses through which you observe the world, and seek to understand the illusions and projections that result. This is of utmost importance. Love will not come to you by imagining what love looks like. Instead of hoping against hope for true love to somehow just show up, hold your heart and mind open. Stop looking for it. Instead, offer it to everyone. In this way, you make a relationship with love itself. The focus is on expanding your heart’s capacity rather than on waiting for another to fill it up. By offering your heart in countless big and small ways, you will find that you no longer have to wait for love because you are actually living in it. The Lord of Romantic Materialism feeds off of fear, distrust, and hopeless- ness. He enjoys your discomfort and seeks to convince you to focus on dispos- ing of it at any cost by enlisting a fellow human as your foil. However, when you operate from openness and generosity of spirit, he can find no purchase. Much of our discomfort in relationships comes not from normal fights and disconnects, but from paying more attention to these lords and less to love itself. ♦ Excerpted from The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships, by Susan Piver. Reprinted with permission from Lionheart Press. HOT OFF THE PRESS Authentic Presence Immersion In-depth skills training in the contemplative approach to caring for patients at the end-of-life 8-day retreat: October 20-28, 2018 Light on the Hill, Ithaca, NY 10-week integration program via live webinars: November 4, 2018 – January 27, 2019 For healthcare professionals and trained volunteers Transforming the way we care. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.spcare.org PACIFICZEN.ORG WITH JOHN TARRANT AND THE TEACHERS AND COMMUNITY OF MEDITATION CONVERSATION PRIVATE TEACHING ART WRITING KOANS STORIES AN OLD WAY OF ZEN Pacific Zen Institute A NEW WAY OF ZEN LION’S ROAR | SEPTEMBER 2018 74